Playdoughisms

People say, there's never a dull moment when working with kids. They also say that Kids say the darnedest things. And whoever they are, they are right! Although they missed off the fact that they can also say and do the crudest things, without even knowing. Kids are natural born comedians. They can make you laugh without even realising they're funny, which makes them much more impressive than adult comedians. They don't even try and they can leave you in stitches. And two of my kids today would've beat Izzard in his prime.


Check this out:

So I'm sat at the playdough table with four children, two of which were off in their own world making cakes and thumping the dough with the rolling pins, and two of which were deep in conversation with myself. They had been very kindly making various cakes, biscuits, mince pies, chocolate filled snails and candy worms for me to (pretend) to eat, when all of a sudden I hear:

"This is my cock."

The laughter didn't quite come yet. It was more shock and a double take......did he actually just say that?
So I ignore it, not wanting to draw attention to it. But lo and behold there he goes again.

"This is my cock."

The giggling begins. Quiet at first.

"Helen. I made you this cock."

"Oh thanks (child's name) do I eat it?"
Now I wasn't being crude here. I just presumed as he'd been making things for me to eat, that he'd just invented something new.

"No Helen. It's a cock."

Now here, I really do have to take a breath as the laughter is coming harder.

"Okay (child's name). So what is a cock?"

"It's like a plate."

"Oh. Okay. Lovely."

Then of course, the child beside him cottons on to the fact that I'm finding this all hilarious and he starts with the questions.

"What is it?"

The first child replies, "It's a cock."

"What's a cock?"

And so on and so forth. Meanwhile another member of staff has come to join us at the table and is now also wetting herself laughing. The first child drops the cock and exclaims:

"Oh no. That was my cock."

To which the second child replies, "Your cock is funny."

At this point I'm actually close to tears and I just have to change the subject. So I ask them to start making me cakes again as I'm hungry. But no, Helen, it is not time for cakes. No. The time for cakes has passed.

The first child hands me a ball of playdough and says, "This is my bum."

I hand it back to him saying that I didn't want to hold his bum thank you very much. Then of course everything became about bums. "This is my bum. I made a bum. Ha ha. That's your bum." etc etc.

But the icing on the cake came a few seconds later when the second child produces his model.

"Helen, I've made a bum."

And this is when I completely loose it. He had made, well, essentially, meat and two vege. I'm not kidding. There was a penis and two balls. I nearly cried. I grabbed the camera and took a photo of it. That's definitely one to keep in the portfolio. Ha ha.

And after that it just dissolved into toilet humour. "I've made a fart. I've made a poo. You're holding my poo. Ha ha." I mean, how is toilet humour just instinctively imbued in men and when I say men I mean my kids who are 3 and 4. It's ridiculous, but bloody hilarious. Honestly, that kept us amused for ages.

I just needed to share that.

Well, next time you think about how sweet it is when children play with playdough, you might think a little differently. He he. My genius little comedians.

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy your Wednesday evening.

Helen