Saturday, March 10, 2012

10 minute warning.

What a week..........The week from hell doesn't actually cover it. I was so close to another post it note resignation. If it wasn't lack of manager or being understaffed and over ratio, then it was being bitten by a child whilst trying to entertain 2 educational psychologists, a child with SEN and the child's parent. Yep, that was definitely the highlight. But I think I've dwelled enough on that this week so I'll spare you anymore talk on the subject.

And so to Wednesday evening. Our love film came and we decided to watch Cars 2. I needed a night of mindless nicety and we are a Pixar loving household. Besides, the other choice was We need to talk about Kevin and I think I'd had quite enough of troublesome kids for one day. (Though I would like to see it and probably will watch it at some point this weekend. Have heard it's incredible.)

And so to the 15 adverts before the actual film comes on. What is it with Disney or Pixar movies. There's always so many and they're usually films that did pretty badly, or that went straight to DVD, or that you just don't give a crap about. But actually this wasn't meant to be a rant about the amount of adverts, this is meant to be a rant about the music used on the adverts.

So the first advert is for Lady and the Tramp and they use this hideous 15 year old, bubblegum pop track in the background. I mean, what the hell? "He's a Tramp" from Lady in the Tramp, originally sung by Peggy Lee is freakin' awesome! Why would you put some shitty American teen song of shite on it? Well to be sure it had me heading for the skip button on the remote.

But then the next advert was even better. I just can't believe it. It was an advert for Winnie the Pooh and Friends. You know, pretty much aimed at the under five market because it's soppy and boring (sorry, never been a fan of the Pooh) and contains a freakin' mentally ill donkey. And who do they put in the background? Yes, you guessed it, the one and only........Keane with their depressing - make you wanna kill yourself song - Somewhere only we know. (to be fair that might not actually be the title, but as you can tell I'm not exactly a fan of the Keane either)

My actual reaction was: "Fuckin' Keane on the fuckin' Winnie the Pooh advert. What?"
And I think that pretty much sums it up. When the suicide rate in under fives shoots up, we'll know why.
(Okay that last comment was pretty crude but really.......Keane? What will they think of next?)      

Oh and after all that, Cars 2 was pretty shite and I fell asleep in the middle of it. BORING and unnecessary. The first Cars was awesome and full of soul but this was just pure greed. MONEY MONEY MONEY always sunny in Pixar's world.

Anyhoo, the hell week was finished on a wonderful note, with last night three of my amazing friends coming round for dinner and large amounts of alcohol. I was walking home thinking how much I just wanted to wallow in self pity and not have company, but then as soon as I walked through the door, I shook off my self pity cloak and accepted the love and warmth of my lovely friends. I was given wine before I even managed to take my coat off and within seconds I was chin wagging away, leaving that stinker of a week behind and looking forward to a few hours of good company, good food and wine.

I really had a blast, we all did and it was just unfortunate that owing to last trains and last tubes and all that nonsense, they couldn't make it to see ME at KOKO's in Camden. I figured we weren't going either as it was already 11.15 and I was still in my clothes from work and I was thinking of quite happily finishing off that bottle of Vodka. (I state for the record. I am not an alcoholic!) But then A just announces that of course we are still going and we have to leave in 10 minutes. So I had a 10 minute warning to change clothes, do hair and make-up. Luckily I am master of the 10 minute make-over, due to all the times I used to get ready for Maximes in the toilets at Brigade, or get ready in the toilets at work before going straight out after my shift.

And so off we went to the NME night at KOKO's to party with the kids. Eeek. If you haven't heard of this band, they are called ME and they are awesome as they proved to us once again last night, or technically this morning as they weren't on stage until about quarter past midnight. I did loose my hat which was actually such an A thing to do, but ah well. The band were awesome and it was so long since I'd been to Koko's, I'd forgotten what an amazing venue it was. I was really feeling the music, losing myself and letting go. Something I haven't done for quite some time. It was sort of cleansing. I felt really young again, really connected with something. Still, a shame I lost my hat. Ha ha.

Oh yeah, when I went off to look for my hat, someone tried to swoop in on A. I came back and he was all like, this girl jumped on me as soon as you left. I was livid. I was like, where is she, if she comes anywhere near us I'm gonna punch her. How dare she make a move on my man. I felt like Wendy Testaburger from South Park. The jealousy spike was high!

And I will finish off this rather lengthy blog with the answer to the question on everyone's lips. Why is Adele so popular in America? And the answer is, because she's not a whore.

So many female acts are just dressed and marketed to look like strippers or whores and Adele, well, bless her but that probably wouldn't work for her, so she has this whole oh her voice is actually good thing, going for her. As opposed to, oh you can almost see her noo nah in that dress.

A made me watch some videos this morning. The new Madonna which I of course hated every second of and when I saw that picture of her in the heart shaped bra thing, well you can only imagine the language I used. Needless to say, same age as my mother came up a few times.

Then A wowed me with Porcelain  Black. I hadn't heard of her and to be honest, I wish I never had. I will say this: Shit song, not rock in the slightest, Ga Ga wannabe, whore, St Trinians, she doesn't actually have a voice it's just a (I smoke 90 a day) growl and the premise of the video is just ridiculous. Oh I have one half of my hair white, one half black and people used to call me weird, so now I wear stockings and suspenders to school and I say I'm a rock chick because those stockings and suspenders happen to be black (and we all know rockers only wear black) and now I'm all alternative and scary and I eat cocks for breakfast. I mean, really, check it out on you tube or something because it is hilarious nonsense. Though on second thoughts it'll probably go viral and then we'll have to put up with more of her ridiculous shenanigans, so don't look her up. Forget I said anything.

And finally I was treated to Rhianna, You're da one dat I think about all da-a-ay. OH MY GOD! What is it with women grabbing their crotches in music videos now? We don't have anything to grab and it ain't sexy. Besides she's got a huge following of 8 year olds and she's essentially teaching them to touch themselves inappropriately and to accept cock. There's one shot where she actually looks nice but the rest of it is just dressed like a whore, dressed like the guy from clockwork orange and her singing that she wants cocks cocks cocks.

A admitted that she's scary, but she's obviously quite a big fantasy for some men. I mean, do they get off on the idea that she could actually devour them, body mind and cock. Does that turn guys on? Or is it just that she seems like a sure thing. She'd give it away pretty easily? I dunno. But on a slight girly note, her nails are awesome in that video. Ha!

So in short, that is why Adele is loved in the states and of course because of her voice and congratulations to her. We Brits aren't exactly renowned for success over the pond.

And that was slightly random. Ah, maybe it's the alcohol still in my system, or maybe I'm just a crank. I know which one is more likely, especially at 4.50pm. Ha.

As always thanks for reading and L, T, D and of course A, thanks for last night!

Good weekends everyone.

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