Friday, July 20, 2012

The Zoo. An escalator Query. Postman Music.

Wow! What a day yesterday. I was in charge of a zoo trip with 24 children and 7 other adults. Can you say Eeesshk?

My manager was typically off sick as this monumental event was occurring leaving me with the ultimate responsibility of trying not to lose a child or come back with any missing limbs.
We all joked about it but let's just say that just like the Segway experience-last blog-putting other people's lives in my hands=very scary stuff.

Needless to say we passed the first hurdle pretty well in that all seven of the Addison Lea cabs we ordered got us there safely and pretty much on time for when the zoo opened. Hurdle 1 successfully jumped.

Hurdle 2 involved me paying for everything but again that was successfully passed.

Then hurdle 3 was the weather and we were so lucky that it only rained on us once when we were eating our picnic under the cover of trees. Whoop!

Of course hurdle 4 was the animals. We went to the Africa bit and of course none of the animals were out or they were asleep. Showing empty pens to kids......not that interesting. but finally found the giraffes and they even came over to us and we took some photos and stuff.
The lions and tigers were sleeping....lazy buggers. But our definite saving grace was the Gorillas. There were 3 of them swinging around, eating cabbages and drinking from water bottles ("Just like you do Helen.") and generally staring around. they especially liked it when they were scratching their elbows. ("They got an itch like me.")

Unfortunately hurdle 5: tiredness was failed by all in question, including the teachers. After lunch most of them said they wanted to go home. Some of them were practically asleep whilst walking and others started whinging to be picked up. URGH. But we powered through and even made it to the Aquarium and saw the penguins.
Have to say my favourite moments was when one of my little boys had just come out of the Gorillas and he saw a pond. He said, "Look Helen. It's a little Walrus."
I said "Where?" Puzzled.
He pointed at a duck. "Oh actually, it's just a duck." Ha ha.
Kids are awesome.

So we all made it back, with limbs in tact, no toileting accidents (which is a frickin' miracle) and (sadly) no lost children.  Could have fed a few to the Lions, only they were sleeping...........'kidding.....but not really.' (Ben Stiller-Dodgeball)

And now for an escalator query: Why do people intending to stand on the right, queue up with the walking/running up lefties and then cut in front of you, therefore holding up both queues?

That's a fairly lengthy query, I realise now. But it's bloody annoying, especially when you're already late to meet your friends and you've got to queue up to use an escalator anyway (that still baffles me, it must be the hesitation? If people just walked and got on the escalator straight away there wouldn't be all this crazy congestion.)

Anyhoo, could you just stop it you irritating trying to push in, holding up both lines, don't know if you want to be lefties or righties people. Just make a decision, stick to it and adhere to the none rocket science instructions such as, walk on the left, stand on the right. It's fairly self explanatory. There's even a diagram for those that don't read English. What could be simpler????

Though I have just remembered how irritating it is when people walk on the left but then stop half way up or down. Again, make a decision and don't be a fucker. It's a sure fire way to piss off a shit load of locals.

He he. When I was off to the tube station this morning, I couldn't help but giggle. I went past a post van with the windows down and out was blaring this crazy, slightly offensive rap music. What made me laugh is that I still have this really innocent Postman Pat outlook on postmen (or women) and I guess part of me thinks that they would drive around listening to the Postman Pat theme.

You know: Postman Pat. Postman Pat. Postman Pat and his black and white cat. Early in the morning, just as day is dawning, he picks up all the post bags in his van.

NOT: Yeah. Uh. Check it out. My ho's and bitches wanna suck my ******* (how many asterisk? Not sure what that word is supposed to be....suggestions please.)

He he. I am weird.

I also left three times today as I had to go back for the old passport and then back for the jeans drying on the radiator. Embarking on another Helen and A adventure to Luxembourg later today. He he.

Castles, pretty villages and some more castles. Can't wait!

Good Weekend to all. Appreciate it as it's the last one before those blasted Olympics start. Then life really will be disrupted.

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